My declaration about the C bomb...

My declaration about the C bomb...

Rachael Bermingham

Someone said to me a few weeks ago 'put that in your next book!'—well I might not put all of my fodder in a book, but chances are it WILL end up somewhere—maybe in one of these blogs, or one of my articles. Like a radio journo will talk about what's happened in their life, or what's on their mind on their radio show, as an author—I will most probably write about it.😄

This week a girlfriend and I were talking about words—in particular the C word and how this generation coming into adulthood use it so often.

In our day, the word c**t was used so rarely that no one really even knew what it meant. The real bad word back then (used sparingly) was fuck. I remember when I was a kid if my Dad pulled out the F word (or any adult actually), it was a BIG deal! To this day, I can only remember Dad dropping the F bomb maybe a hand full of times, and even today if he said it, it would sound super weird. 

As kids we never used the F word it. Our go to words were 'shit' or 'bloody' and that was more than enough for us. Now however, my generation use the word fuck all the time—it's just another word to me now, the shock factor went long ago when society normalised it, I normalised it.

Our children's generation (mostly teens we've established in our 'solving the problems of the world' conversation this week ) throw the C bomb around like it's lolly water. It's one of those words that still makes me, and most of my girlfriends catch our breathe, and feel just a little uncomfortable. Not our kids though, they are totally chilled with it.

I remember the first time I heard the C bomb (outside of school) from an adult—I was in grade 9 working in my school holiday/weekend job at a Maroochydore boutique. I'd only just started working there and was being guided along by this gorgeous, stylish, nurturing, fun and happy woman called Gillian who I idolised. She was one of those women that all women aspired to be. She had the looks, the body, the car, the personality, the money, she was independent and had everything (and she really did as I found out from many years of being her friend)—she was such a delight to work with. She was only working in the boutique for a few months to help her brother (one of the bosses) who I had met only a few times. 

It was a beautiful, easy, peaceful Sunday morning, just me and Gillian working away when her brother came into the shop on his way to his church mass. He flew in like he was on speed—ranting and raving, flapping his arms around like a bloody crazy man, screaming blue murder at Gillian for something that was so ridiculous (and something the other boss did, so it turned out).

This man was a tyrant, highly emotional yet emotionally immature, and prone to outbursts. You never really knew what side of him you were going to get, and this day, in amongst his mega meltdown he spat the C bomb out like he had to use up his yearly quota all in the one hour. I honestly just starred at him, mouth gapping open, eyes wide in total disbelief.

Gillian to her credit, didn't batter a pretty eyelid, clearly used to his tantrums, it was almost like she didn't even see him, or hear him. She certainly didn't entertain his craziness, not even a second of it. That woman had class! The impact of his tanty didn't have an effect on Gill, but 32 years later I still remember it well, so it definitely had an impact on me. 

That's why maybe in all of the years since I've used the C bomb maybe 5 times, most of which were in the last few years (sorry to burst your bubble, I'm hardly a Puritan). 

I know some men say it to each other as a term of ...endearment 🤔, but as a woman, it's one of those words I would always use super sparingly due to (in my opinion) it's immense power.

I just think some words should be reserved for moments that really justify them, or be used when truly earned such as words like hero, champion, legend and declarations like 'I love you'. 

It might be the author in me (or maybe I just place high value on words) but when I use these words or declarations—I really mean them on a deep soul level. I am thoughtful, very thoughtful, normally before speaking, and even more thoughtful before writing. I don't throw my words around, or overuse them, or say them just to make someone feel special. No, that's not who I am. In fact, it shits me to tears when I hear people use these words and statements every day like they're like any other word. It leaves me questioning what words do they have left that are reserved for special moments? Any, none? How do people REALLY know when they are being authentic, real, honest, when they TRULY mean...anything?  

Rest assured, you will know with me.  If I call you a hero, legend, champion, tell you what a great job you did, tell you I love you, or you are the recipient of my 6th c bomb in history, you'll know you've wholeheartedy and truly earned it. 

Peace out lovers!

Keep it real.

x 

 

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What challenge teaches you and your children...

What challenge teaches you and your children...

Rachael Bermingham

Recently when life threw a curve ball at me I felt broken, I even went so far as to say I was broken. Might not sound like a big deal to you, after all it's only a word, but it was a BIG call for me.

Most people who know me will tell you, I am very thoughtful with the words I speak, and say—I know how powerful words can be, and how what you tell yourself can either help, or hinder you. When I felt so shattered recently, I didn't know where my pieces were, let alone how to put them all back together, and my self talk went to the shithouse, and of course (as we do), I felt even worse. 

Turns out, I wasn't beaten, wasn't broken and wasn't shattered, and the pieces I found, and picked up, were all I needed. I felt beyond broken at the time, yes, bloody hell did I! But what I've learned is no one is ever broken, even though we may feel it sometimes—we're not. None of us are.

Our pieces aren't all meant to be put back together— the universe shakes us up so we can get rid of our dead wood, so the pieces we don't need fall out of our energy like dead leaves fall from a tree. Some float out along a universal breeze never to return, some die and disintegrate back into all that is. And as hard as it is for us, and as much as we don't understand it at the time, it's all meant to be. 

We're meant to lose these pieces because we've out grown our self in our current state. We need to free up space to create room and opportunity to re-create, re-design, grow and evolve into a new version of ourself, a BETTER version! Hooooolllyyyy look out!!!!!

On some level, we know and get that, but consciously it provides us with little comfort as we experience the biggest tests of our character, learning the greatest life lessons, and experiencing more of what we're made of to come through to the other side with acceptance, and the new knowledge.

We need to be challenged, we need friction to force ourselves outside of our comfort zones to progress, move forward, learn more about ourselves and others, evolve and grow. 

Solo you will face challenge, as a family unit you will face challenge, our kids will face challenge (as much as we hate to hear, or even think about that). 

If you have kids, showing them how to face, process and respond to challenge is one of the greatest gifts you can teach them. 

Like us, they will be shook up, hurt, sad, pained and feel broken at times too. What you need to remind them of is they are not broken, not bad, not unlovable, not undeserving... they are just facing challenge that has been presented so they can learn, change, evolve, strengthen who they are, develop resilience, learn more about who they are, and also who others are too.

As a family unit, we all face challenges—always will. Life is tough, but we, and our kids need to know we are tougher! Communication is vital to keep a solid, healthy family unit that is not in a mental state of brokenness, but has a mindset of a courageous fighter, a survivor—capable of overcoming anything that life throws at us. Sometimes this challenges need to be overcome solo, sometimes together. 

Throughout the challenge whatever it may be, honest emotion will give way for honest communication, and help develop emotional intelligence that can't be learned any other way than by seeing real, raw, and vulnerable emotion.

By being vulnerable ourselves it gives our kids, family and friends the opportunity to show up in challenge. I have learned to openly cry (as uncomfortable as it is) because my boys need to know what it looks like, not be awkward with it, how it feels within their own mind and bodies when faced with it, how to process feelings about it, and how to show up for those they love who are challenged. They need to learn how to be courageous when uncomfortable themselves, and it is going to be uncomfortable for them, but not knowing what to do, how to show up, how to process it, and get through it will be a far harder experience for them if they don't learn it in a loving supported environment when faced with it now. 

Life isn't always a bed of roses, they need to feel comfortable when someone is being vulnerable, needs support, a hug, and empathy. My boys hate when I'm sad (or anyone actually), but instead of feeling all awkward about it, and being useless in a challenge or crisis, they are now more confident and comfortable asking questions like 'are you ok?', (which so many adults aren't even comfortable asking). It also opens up the space for others to say 'I'm just having a sad moment', or encourages conversation, truth. Conversations they need to learn how to have, and be ok about having. Healing and overcoming challenge doesn't happen without communication. 

My boys have learned so much recently about challenge, and even though as a Mum I would prefer they NEVER experience any challenge, I know they will need to and the way they have handled it has been inspiring and impressive. I'm proud of them.  

Processing challenge takes skill that none of us are naturally born with. We need to develop it. Like a muscle, we have to develop the mental muscle to be brave enough to allow ourselves to feel the pain and breathe into it, process the challenge, then pick ourselves up, change our self talk, and make a choice to not keep saying, or thinking, we are broken from a challenge. Instead change our perspective to one that is more about the opportunity than the challenge. Focus more about what we'll learn than what we have lost or are hurting from.

Saying we are broken is a choice that we don't want to keep saying to ourselves, or keep in the energy of, because it renders us incapable of seeing our true, powerful, potential. Saying, or thinking we're broken keeps us small and in a state of limbo,  preventing us from growing, healing, learning and being creative. We don't want that—nothing is achieved there otherwise we'll just stay in a victim space which is a powerless, useless, bloody horrible place 😬

We are not broken, our families (whatever they look like) are not broken, our kids are not broken, NO one is broken. We are changing, evolving, and growing in the face of challenge. 

The longer and the more we baulk at challenge, the longer it it takes to grasp the understanding of the lesson within it, the more we hurt, the more we pain, the more we want to go to ground and curl up and never wake up. But learn we must. Accept the reason we must change even though we may not see the 'why' for a while. Sometimes you just got to have blind faith. 

And in the moments you feel broken, remember you're not, you're growing and the quicker you embrace and welcome that learning, the less painful it will be. 

Breathe through the resistance, embrace the challenge, seize the opportunity. 

Keep your hearts open, your arms full and ready with hugs, spend quality time continually getting to know each other, listen to each other and be thankful for the special people in your life. Reach out to people for support and help. Allow and receive help!

And remember you are tough! So much tougher than you give yourself credit for.

Breathe easy in between the challenges and stand strong with a resilient, powerful mindset together when change, or challenge occur.

You got this. 

x

Mentoring support available.

 

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I didn't die, I just got better....

I didn't die, I just got better....

Rachael Bermingham

Throwback to my 2nd skydive with Tibor Glesk. I can’t remember a time I felt fear quite like those minutes when I was in the plane & they were prepping me to jump out. (Ok maybe the days leading up to have my twins naturally may have been on par 😱lol). 

It’s so bloody terrifying, your mind is screaming at you to STOP, shouting ‘what are you fricken doing woman???!!!!’.

Your body goes into pre-shock shaking & baulking at the thought of what’s to come next. It’s a total mental cluster fuck. It’s frightening the first time, worse the second & the 3rd time I did it went against everything—my mind, body AND spirit...I had to just go into a zen state to even get ON the plane! Somehow I pushed through it to climb aboard for yet another charitable cause just to jump out again.

And....I didn’t die, I just got a whole lot better!

Skydiving is like life—we have opportunities come up that bring us to a screaming stop, paralyse us in fear, have our mental communication at an all time high raving & ranting for no other reason than to keep us playing at the same level. To keep in our financial lanes, keep in our health lane, keep in our social lane, keep in our life lane which can become boring as bat shit & prevent us from experiencing being ourselves to our fullest potential.

It’s the moments right in the core of that fear & as we take that first fearful step that are where we find the gold. After we have pushed through the overwhelming fear, beaten the paralysis of it and leapt, that is when we really grow. We get excited, we discover how tough, courageous, able, awesome & how fricken amazing we really are. Surprise turns to confidence which gives us even more momentum to achieve things we never thought possible. 

So next time fear presents itself, remember it's a veil just begging you to pull it back and leap forward into your own potential. Feel the fear & do it anyway—you'll be stoked you did!

* If you need someone to hold your hand to help you take that first step—sing out, I'd love to mentor you through it. Mentoring bookings can be made here

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Are you hiding behind your story? Your own bullshit?

Are you hiding behind your story? Your own bullshit?

Rachael Bermingham

Oh what a month, actually what a few months!

I've been through a truly shitty 8 weeks, it sucks worse than dogs balls (so a friend of mine so eloquently put it 😄). I make light of it, but it's got to be the worst phase I've been through in years, or at least since I was 19—and no, I'm not even half kidding, I really wish I was. There's been a million tears, pain, depression—the works. It wasn't pretty trust me 😭.

But I'm not going to come here and put you on a downer—that's not my souls purpose. My purpose is to enlighten you, provoke inspiration, questions, motivation, help and support you to live a better, happier, more enriched life. So even though you might want to hear my dirt, I'm not going to share it. I'm more of a sand kinda girl. What I AM going to share with you is WHY I went through it, because at the end of the day, that's all that matters—the WHY. 

And the WHY of it is that I was standing behind my own bullshit story for far too long.

There are many reasons why we stand being our own bullshit stories, none of them are worth the time and effort to talk about because they are ALL excuses. Excuses that cost us health, happiness, prosperity, success, balance, empowerment, love and the list goes on. 

Often we wait for trauma, a tragedy, or some other MASSIVE kick up the ass from life (because we're not bloody listening or getting it!) to face up to our bullshit stories, change them, and flick them.

But what if we did the work before we got a hefty kick up the ass? Well that would look like learning with joy and inspiration—not pain and suffering. Who wants more of the later—hands up!...Anyone??? Yeah me neither, I'll opt out of that in future as well. Give me joy and inspiration ANY day.

Facing our bullshit story takes courage, a deep breathe (actually a fair few of them), and then walking forward into the unknown, and feeling your fear and doing it anyway.

It also means you may need support—I know I definitely do. There are very few people around that can do this without support, and unfortunately that's something else most of us suck at (along with the not listening thing)—asking and reaching out for support. I know I'm crap at it, and so are most of my girlfriends. We tell each other how crap we are at it often!

Thankfully I have my awesome fivesome who don't piss in my pocket, and will call me on my bullshit and tell me what I NEED to hear, not what I want to hear (thanks Mandy, Boofy, Claire, Jules & Susan), always with love, even if it is accompanied with a smack upside the head. And when I want to truly level up, I reach out to a mentor (thanks Raelene for my mind, and Mel for my body).

So whatever bullshit story you are telling yourself to keep playing small, being small, procrastinating, hiding, making excuses, or blaming others, or ANYTHING that prevents you from stepping in to the person you truly are, stop it! Face it, change it and grow from it before life gets it's king size shoe out and kicks you up the ass!

Call this your pre-kick up the ass wake up call! Good luck with that 😉

x

 

Don't have a mentor? Reach out to me here...

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Can we talk about Menopause?

Can we talk about Menopause?

Rachael Bermingham
Are you in it, over it, not experienced it yet? I’ve been in Peri menopause & the last 6 months in particular I’ve found the few days leading up to my period almost impossible.
 
I have been unbearable some days (even I think I’m unbearable!!)
I can rage up
I cry.... no, I bawl!
I get sooooo sad
I can be mean
I contract - I feel like I’m holding my breathe & take these shallow breathes because my behaviour even takes my breathe away and I am overcome with this anxiousness..... 

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What does the Universe want to tell you in 2018?

What does the Universe want to tell you in 2018?

Rachael Bermingham

Happy new year and welcome to 2018!

This year is all about listening to your intuition, being present, and conscious enough to trust in the signs the Universe sends to you. It's about having the courage to bravely take steps that you need to take to step into your purpose—fully.

Last year you adjusted. Lots of people went through hell and back and the pain and emotion is still there in their residual energy. Soooo many people went into the year with high expectations and excitement and now feel flat, deflated, lost, not right.


This year the universe is really pushing you to step into your greatest capacity, fill your cup in all the areas you've been dreaming of. 


You'll be pushed—you'll be shoved into shaking off your old stuff so you can achieve what it is you're here to do. It's going to raise fears, you're going to second guess yourself, and your old patterns will want to kick in and sabotage you—don't let them. The real breakthroughs and rewards will only be there for you if you don't allow yourself (your old patterns and habits) to get in the way. 

Some of you will be able to do this yourself through sheer determination, drive, tenacity, focus and intent. Most people won't though—more than 99% of the population will need help, support, guidance and someone to cheer and push them to get them through it confidently without all the brakes, barriers, sabotage and pain.

During the last 6 weeks of school holiday mayhem, I've been redesigning the mentoring programs I offer to cater for all of this—streamlining them, and also the way I do things. This year, I'm excited that I will have more contact with my clients, and be able to focus on 4 main areas of support and strategy that will cater more specifically to each clients needs. 

These newly developed programs will provide more focus on the key areas of growth in each particular region of learning. They'll also ensure the foundation that my clients need is solid before moving into other areas, and implementing strategies thereafter that will attract greater results. 

Each program is offered online at a special rate for payment upon commencement. We still offer a payment plan at a slightly higher rate to make them affordable for everyone too— no one misses out. 

In addition to that, I offer a one off mentoring session if you need to get to the heart and soul of an issue or strategy quickly.

I have a few more exciting things planned as well, and you'll be the first to know about them as I roll them out. 

In the meantime, have a look at my new website and mentoring programs. I have my mentors lined up and ready—I will succeed, will you? 

Have a great week, be kind to yourself, listen to your intuition, and read the universal signs.

I hope to work with you in 2018! 

Best wishes,

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Knowing your personality and that of your family & work mates is important- here's why....

Knowing your personality and that of your family & work mates is important- here's why....

Rachael Bermingham

Knowing how to communicate with others for a positive outcome, or even just knowing themselves well enough to make great decisions on where they need to head, is..... read more

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How to Protect Your Energy

How to Protect Your Energy

Rachael Bermingham

Everyone is affected by energy, the whole world is energy! More predominately however, we are affected by other people's energies, mostly without even knowing it.... read more

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If you're not using this to attract business, you're missing out BIG time...

If you're not using this to attract business, you're missing out BIG time...

Rachael Bermingham2 comments
The not so best kept secret to having a successful businesses or book is.... read more

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Bigger, better and brighter in 2017!

Bigger, better and brighter in 2017!

Rachael Bermingham

The hardest place is always the beginning. Once you have clarity, have a plan that is achievable, know what steps to take, how and when, you not only have momentum, you get excited! But that’s not the only thing. One other thing... READ MORE

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